Am I Forcing This?

It is my mission to empower freedom seekers to take back their sovereignty, step into their magnificence and live a life of abundance through personal transformation. I offer Spiritual Life Coaching, Psychic Readings, Retreats and Workshops. My offerings are here to help support you in powerfully creating the riches you desire in all facets of life – career, relationships, abundance and spirituality among others. In my blog, you'll find spiritual insights, inspiration and education to support you along your healing journey.
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Hi, I'm baker

Your Psychic Coach & Intuitive Healer

Spiritual Insights

January 27, 2025

An Exercise in Self-Love

All right, the HOLIDAYS are over; you survived! Whether you detest or love the endless round of the HOLIDAY season starting in October, you survived. Did you make conscious decisions about what to participate in, or did you just go along? Was the season joy-filled and peaceful, or are you resentful, stressed, and exhausted? You do know that STRESS is a leading cause of illness right? Did you feel I Am Forcing This!

If I am doing any activity, whether going to a concert, helping a friend, or participating in some holiday ritual like mailing out Christmas cards, decorating a tree, stringing lights, baking cookies, or attending a holiday party, it must come from love and joy. So, this year, we went to Puerto Vallarta and savored the lights, the food, the music, and most of all, the people – their authentic love and joy!

If I participate out of obligation or because someone somewhere down the line made up a holiday (like Valentine’s Day), it is forced. I will become resentful, sullen, and unhappy that I bought an overpriced dinner, chocolates, or a fancy card, not to mention all the angst and expectations that come with that one huge day! I willingly go for it if I can genuinely say it is not forced, obligatory, or because I want to buy love.

AM I FORCING THIS?

Years ago, Reverend Joyce Murphy, one of my mentors, taught me three questions to consider when making decisions.

Does it fit my vision? (You do have a vision for your life – right?) Here are a couple of different ways to create a vision for your life: https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2017/04/28/how-to-craft-your-life-vision/
Is it for the highest and best good of all concerned? (This could be just you, or you and your family, or you and your community, or you and your company, etc.)
Am I forcing this? Or Is this forced?

While the first two questions are essential, the third question is an absolute must. If I can’t answer NO to the third question, I will not move forward.

ASK SPIRIT

The most crucial factor is that I/we go to Spirit for help answering these questions. I meditate on these three questions to discern whether the choice is the highest and best for all concerned. You might be thinking, Sure, BakeR, but I never get any answers when I meditate. When we first begin to ask Spirit for help, we first begin to meditate and connect with our higher self or align with Universal wisdom; it might seem hard to hear those answers.

It may seem like it takes forever, or you may feel that you are not getting any answers at all. That’s why it is important to practice, practice, practice. Remember, learning any new skill might have seemed overwhelming at first. But now, you do it with ease, joy, and maybe even love. In the beginning, it’s work; you have to keep the door open, and you have to make a conscious decision to connect. Eventually, without sitting for an hour, you will get the small nudges, the knowing, the feeling. You will know.

Imagine you’re invited to your partner’s office party – you don’t drink alcohol, you detest small talk, and they are your partner’s co-workers and friends. You know, if you say yes, you will be forcing it. Yet your partner wants you to go. You know that they will most likely desert you as soon as you arrive, and you could be stuck making small talk with a stranger in the corner.

What are your options in this case?

Meditate, go to Spirit, ask the 3 Questions, and find the answers for you. Then:
Say no, stay home, and watch a good movie. Explain to your partner that you will both be happier. You will get to watch that movie they don’t want to see, and they will be able to schmooze with everyone without worrying about entertaining you.
Say yes, arm yourself ahead of time with interesting topics to discuss or a few good questions to ask. People love to talk about themselves. Decide to have a good time regardless. You could even negotiate with your partner that if you’re not enjoying yourself and they are, you will drive home, and they can take an Uber later.

Obviously, when a decision involves your partner or family, there may be some negotiating or compromising. This is why it is important to discuss these issues before time, so you’re on the same page. Don’t wait until three days before to let them know you’re not going.

Whenever I say yes when I should have said no, inevitably, it will bite me in the ass. Long before I understood the universe would support me when I supported myself — I would take on clients I knew intuitively were not a good match for me. Their energy was toxic, or they weren’t ready to do the work. In the early days, I forced it because my ego thought I could “fix” them. Oops, that was a big mistake! Or maybe my root chakra was out of alignment, and my foundation was shaken; I believed I was poor, so I needed the money. It didn’t end well in those instances, and I always paid for i

YES – YES – NO!

Just a month or so ago, a client called and wanted three sessions for them and two friends on a Saturday. They asked my prices and timing, then stated they would call me back. They called back again and asked for more info; I could hear the friends in the background grousing about the prices, and right then, I felt the butterflies in my stomach – the indicators that I was going against my Truth. By the questions being asked, I knew they were not the type of clients I choose to work with. I choose to work with people doing deep spiritual work. After I hung up, I went to Spirit and asked the three questions. The answers were “NO,” “NO,” and “YES!”. Those are not the correct answers for me to move forward! I’m always seeking YES, YES, NO.

I quickly texted the person and said I was not the psychic for them and referred them down the street. By the way, that was a significant chunk of money I gave up. But I know without a shadow of a doubt that had I taken them on, it would have been a failure in one of many ways. Maybe I wouldn’t have connected with them, or they would have wanted mediumship – which I do not do; they would have disbelieved, whatever, it would have happened – that happens when I don’t honor myself and the clients.

I know now that when I honor myself, the Universe, Spirit, God, whatever name you give it, will love and support me unequivocally. And it will support you too!

AN EXCERCISE IN SELF-LOVE

Practicing self-love means honoring yourself enough to ask, “Am I forcing this?” If the answer is “Yes,” you can choose to move on. There is not enough time or money to force you to do anything. It’s your choice!

This year, I encourage you to gift yourself the power of these critical questions: